Aug 142012
 

So S&C get a huge fine for having traded with Iran. Naughty boys. In our capitalist society, nobody will question that banks are there to make money, which by definition is odourless. Punishing a bank for dealing with X is morally identical to punishing Smith and Wesson when a gun they manufactured is used to kill X. If a criminal steals a gold ingot and buries it, are you going to take the soil to court? Going after banks is no more than a short-cut to apprehending the criminal in the first place. Much easier of course, but fundamentally incorrect.

Lest I be misunderstood, I have not the least sympathy for bankers and their ilk, but “money-laundering” is a euphemism for “finding the criminal is too much effort”; there’s nothing wrong with looking after X’s money; if X got it illegally, then have him punished for his crime. Smith and Wesson anybody?

Aug 132012
 
Imports System.Data
' Refer to these DLLs:
'   microsoft.sqlserver.connectioninfo
'   Microsoft.SqlServer.Management.Sdk.Sfc
'   Microsoft.SqlServer.smo
'   Microsoft.SqlServer.sqlenum
Imports Microsoft.SqlServer.Management.Smo
Imports Microsoft.SqlServer.Management.Sdk.Sfc
Imports Microsoft.SqlServer.Management.Common

Module Module1

    Sub Main()
        GetServers()
        Console.ReadLine()
    End Sub

    Private Function GetServers() As List(Of String)

        Dim servers As New List(Of String)
        Dim dt As DataTable = SmoApplication.EnumAvailableSqlServers(False)

        If dt.Rows.Count > 0 Then

            For Each dr As DataRow In dt.Rows

                Dim servername As String = dr("Name")

                If Not servers.Contains(servername) Then ' Only once per server

                    servers.Add(servername)
                    Console.WriteLine(servername)

                    Dim server As New Server(servername)
                    Try
                        ' Enumerate databases 
                        For Each db In server.Databases

                            If Not db.issystemobject Then
                                Console.WriteLine("  " & db.name)

                                ' Enumerate user tables
                                For Each t As Table In db.tables

                                    If Not t.IsSystemObject Then
                                        Console.WriteLine("    " & t.Name)
                                    End If

                                Next

                            End If

                        Next

                    Catch ex As Exception
                        Console.WriteLine("  " & ex.Message)
                        Console.WriteLine("  Maybe the SQL Server Browser Service isn't started on " & servername & "?")
                    End Try
                End If
            Next
        End If

        Return servers

    End Function


End Module

 Posted by at 10:17 pm  Tagged with:
Aug 012012
 

So UBS has lost $350M after Facebook’s botched launch, and the only people to be surprised are those who were stupid enough to try and buy the shares instead of buying puts (which would have made them significantly richer).

UBS is supposed to be one of the world’s leading banks, and yet time and again they squander money in a manner which beggars belief. I’d find it laughable if I hadn’t been forced to pay my taxes to provide UBS with a 65billion$ bailout a couple of years back; the way things are going it seems more than likely that they’ll be back, cap-in-hand, in the not-so-distant future.

What does surprise me is the naivety of all concerned. It appears that many well-paid employees at UBS subscribed to the idea of buying shares in a company whose business model is based solely on displaying advertisements which are completely ignored by a barely-literate proletariat bent on exchanging mindless drivel.

In a few years, Facebook will be remembered as an ugly skid-mark on the digital toilet.

Hopefully sooner, UBS will nominate a CEO who can learn from his predecessors’ mistakes: sell off the investment banking division, close all operations in the USA and  focus on what the bank does well: private banking. The Swiss will once again be proud of their successful bank and grateful both for the reduction in taxes and hassles from the Americans.

Feb 052012
 

The upcoming presidential election in the USA brings some interesting candidates on the republican front. We have:

  • Mitt Romney, who believes in a church founded by one Joseph Smith, who was directed to a buried book written on golden plates, containing the religious history of an ancient people. Conveniently, the angel took the plates back once Smith had translated them, but in a nutshell, american indians are in fact descendants of jews who emigrated to America. Even those with a faint knowledge of the bible will recognise the plagiarism.
  • Ron Paul, raised a lutheran but now a church-going baptist, appears to be saner, but nonetheless endorses using the 1st amendment to ensure that religious speech is above the law (as long as it’s lutheran/baptist, of course).
  • Newt Gringrich, also raised as a lutheran but now a catholic, tellingly said in a 2011 appearance in Columbus, Ohio: “In America, religious belief is being challenged by a cultural elite trying to create a secularized America, in which God is driven out of public life.”

What, I ask myself, is the difference between these fruit-cakes and muslim extremists? Or have they all forgotten the treaty of Tripoli?

Jan 132012
 

I’ve wasted hours trying to figure out why my embedded geocoding application doesn’t work with IE9.

This is not the first bad experience I’ve had with IE9, which frankly is one of the worst browser implementations I’ve ever seen.

If you’ve arrived here, you’re probably looking for a solution. Here’s what worked for me:

<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=EmulateIE7" >

That we have to resort to this kind of shit beggars belief.

 Posted by at 11:42 pm  Tagged with:
Jan 132012
 

This spreadsheet contains the VBA code to write an Excel range as a clean, formatted HTML page, with optional auto-refresh.
NOTE If you click on the ‘This spreadsheet’ link above and it opens a ZIP file or a set of HTML files, right-click on the link and choose Save As.

Features:

  • Correctly renders all Excel formatting, including conditional formats.
  • Renders embedded charts.
  • Generates an HTML page with tabs identical to those in the Excel file.
  • Creates clean, formatted HTML that validates to HTML 4.01 strict.
  • Optimised stylesheet to ensure minimal page weight.
  • Supports merged cells with ROWSPAN and COLSPAN.
  • Updates the webpage automatically when cells’ values are changed.
  • The webpage automatically refreshes itself at a user-supplied interval.

The result is almost pixel-perfect, compare this Excel screenshot with the HTML page it generated.

14 March 2013. Update, improved lower tab bar to stop over-spilling (thanks to Paul Palmer) and added support for 64-bit Office.

21 August 2014. Many people have asked how to insert an image in the HTML page. It is not possible to get the contents of an embedded Excel image, but it is possible to get an embedded chart. Here’s how to perform this trick:

  1. In the sheet to be published, make sure no cells are selected
  2. Excel Menu->Insert->Chart and choose any chart type. This will insert an empty chart.
  3. Move and size the empty chart as required
  4. Select the chart by clicking its border
  5. Excel Menu->Layout and click the Picture icon
  6. Select an image file (JPG, BMP, etc) and Insert

28 September 2014. Now handles Unicode text correctly.

17 December 2018. Now outputs hyperlinks correctly.

Dec 232011
 

I though this would be trivial; turns out it’s not.

  • When you copy a formula from the clipboard, relative references are adjusted, so Range(x).Formula=Range(y).Formula doesn’t produce the expected results.
    The correct way is Range(x).Formula=Range(y).FormulaR1C1. Easy once you’ve been there.
  • Copying border formats with Range(x).Borders=Range(y).Borders crashes Excel. You have to copy each individual border, left, right, top, etc.
  • Similarly for fonts, you have to copy the font attributes one by one.
  • Good practice: check that the areas have compatible sizes and don’t overlap.

Nothing inordinately difficult, but time-consuming to get right. Here’s the code:

Option Explicit

' Copy cells without using the clipboard.
'
' Source is a range from which to copy values/formulas/formats.
' Dest is the destination range. Must be either
'     a single cell, the top-left of the target range. The source size (rows x columns) is copied.
'   or
'     a range exactly the same size as source. We throw an error if the shapes don't match.
'
' If 'what' is omitted, copies the values.
' what=CopyFormulas copies the formulas instead of the values.
' what=CopyFormats copies the formats.
' what=CopyFormulas+CopyFormats copies both.
'
' Examples:
'   CopyCells Range("b2:c6"), Range("h10")                                   ' Copies 8 cells (6x2) from B2 to H10
'   CopyCells Range(cells(2,2),cells(6,3)), Range("h10")                     ' Idem
'   CopyCells Range(cells(2,2),cells(6,3)), Range(cells(10,10),cells(14,12)) ' Fails, source is 6x2, dest is 6x3
'   CopyCells Range("b2:c6"), Range("b3")                                    ' Fails, source and dest intersect

Public Const CopyFormulas = 1
Public Const CopyFormats = 2
Public Sub CopyCells(source As Range, dest As Range, Optional what As Long)

    ' Turn off screen updating, wastes (a lot of) time
    Dim updating As Boolean
    updating = Application.ScreenUpdating
    Application.ScreenUpdating = False

    If IsMissing(what) Then
        what = 0
    End If

    Dim r As Long
    Dim c As Long

    ' If destination is not a singe (r,c) top-left cell, ensure that the ranges are the same shape and size
    If dest.Rows.Count > 1 Or dest.Columns.Count > 1 Then

        If dest.Rows.Count <> source.Rows.Count Or _
           dest.Columns.Count <> source.Columns.Count Then

            Err.Raise 1000, "CopyCells", "Destination area " & dest.Rows.Count & "x" & dest.Columns.Count & _
                " is not the same shape as the source area " & source.Rows.Count & "x" & source.Columns.Count

        End If
    End If

    If Not (Intersect(source, dest) Is Nothing) Then
            Err.Raise 1000, "CopyCells", "Source area " & Replace(source.Address, "$", "") & " " & source.Rows.Count & "x" & source.Columns.Count & _
                " intersects destination area " & Replace(dest.Address, "$", "") & " " & dest.Rows.Count & "x" & dest.Columns.Count
    End If

    For r = 1 To source.Rows.Count

        For c = 1 To source.Columns.Count

            If what And CopyFormulas Then
                dest.Cells(r, c).Formula = source.Cells(r, c).FormulaR1C1
            Else
                dest.Cells(r, c).Value = source.Cells(r, c).Value
            End If

            If what And CopyFormats Then

                Dim b As Long
                For b = xlEdgeLeft To xlInsideHorizontal
                    With source.Cells(r, c).Borders(b)
                        dest.Cells(r, c).Borders(b).Weight = .Weight ' You must do this *before* linestyle
                        dest.Cells(r, c).Borders(b).LineStyle = .LineStyle
                        dest.Cells(r, c).Borders(b).ColorIndex = .ColorIndex
                        dest.Cells(r, c).Borders(b).TintAndShade = .TintAndShade
                    End With
                Next
                dest.Cells(r, c).ColumnWidth = source.Cells(r, c).ColumnWidth
                dest.Cells(r, c).Interior.Color = source.Cells(r, c).Interior.Color
                dest.Cells(r, c).Interior.Pattern = source.Cells(r, c).Interior.Pattern
                dest.Cells(r, c).HorizontalAlignment = source.Cells(r, c).HorizontalAlignment
                dest.Cells(r, c).IndentLevel = source.Cells(r, c).IndentLevel
                dest.Cells(r, c).NumberFormat = source.Cells(r, c).NumberFormat
                dest.Cells(r, c).Orientation = source.Cells(r, c).Orientation
                dest.Cells(r, c).RowHeight = source.Cells(r, c).RowHeight
                dest.Cells(r, c).UseStandardHeight = source.Cells(r, c).UseStandardHeight
                dest.Cells(r, c).UseStandardWidth = source.Cells(r, c).UseStandardWidth
                dest.Cells(r, c).VerticalAlignment = source.Cells(r, c).VerticalAlignment
                dest.Cells(r, c).WrapText = source.Cells(r, c).WrapText

                With source.Cells(r, c).Font
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Background = .Background
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Bold = .Bold
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Color = .Color
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.ColorIndex = .ColorIndex
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.FontStyle = .FontStyle
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Italic = .Italic
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Shadow = .Shadow
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Size = .Size
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Strikethrough = .Strikethrough
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Subscript = .Subscript
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Superscript = .Superscript
                    dest.Cells(r, c).Font.Underline = .Underline
                End With
                On Error GoTo 0
            End If

        Next
    Next

    Application.ScreenUpdating = updating

End Sub

Sub test()
    CopyCells Range("b2:c6"), Range("h10"), CopyFormulas + CopyFormats
End Sub

 

Oct 302011
 

Whilst making fun of religions is commonplace, it’s extremely rare for religions to use humour themselves.

The United Methodist Church in Salem, Massachusetts certainly is an exception, which had me in stitches: